Home School

Do you remember the first day of school? Let’s be honest- probably not. But think back to it anyway because the first day is the beginning of the unknown. The first day sets the tone for the rest.

Yesterday I had my first day of school. Home school. It lets you know that everything you’re about to experience has been tailored for you with one purpose only…

To educate.

And what possible education could you gain from a collaboration of Diva’s? Oh, do not be mistaken. Do not let their red nail polish, oversized sunglasses or giant hair bows fool you.

Now kindly allow me to educate you.

It is early, and as I write this and I am sitting outside on a sun lounger by the pool at my sister Genevieve’s “Malibu Beach House.” A polka dot pink dressing gown, vanilla tea and a scenic canvas of nature are my assistants- come on, it helps my writers flow.

There were many firsts yesterday, first of manys. First things first, my coconut bread factory has begun. I don’t want to toot my own horn so I won’t – it’s really the only thing I can make. Seriously. Cooking genes skipped the first born. If that doesn’t sell it for you then I don’t know what will. Anyway, I have called the suppliers, they are in place, and they know my intentions. There will be more coconut bread made over the next 3 weeks than Australia has ever seen. Believe that. Dad and I have an understanding. Some might call it earning your keep – I call it LOVE in a big way, a way that Polynesians understand- FOOD.  Dad and I were singing to Earth Wind and Fire “September” as I baked and he provided the entertainment… smooth dance moves, and a claim that he used to pull out all the stops at the YSA dances to this music. Flour - $1.50, Sugar - $1.05, and the image of my Dad doing the splits in tight blue pants- Priceless. What did I tell you? True education.

I then went shopping with my sister Genevieve. I heard some of you gasp, rightly so. As a result of this shopping experience, I have adopted a new philosophy in life. Have you ever been shopping with someone who scrutinizes every price, or looks at every item agonizing over whether they can get this cheaper somewhere else? Someone that goes back to look at the same item ten times before they actually buy it? Or has to be heavily coerced into even $5 of spending? For those of you that suffer from that illness, please apply the following:

“STOP IT.”

My sister doesn’t have an ounce of that illness in her body. She prefers to live by a different kind of rule and she invites you to live it with her. She looks at me as she holds up two different items. If you can’t decide which one to buy – just get both. If you can’t decide whether you really “need” it or not – don’t risk it, you need it. If the car gets pulled over violently on the way out of the car park because the word SALE is displayed – that’s just quick reflexes. If you have a strict $100 shopping budget, no problem – $150 is the new $100.

What does it mean to be educated? Today I had my first day of home school. I was schooled in the ways of the most important kind of education of all – FAMILY.