HOME truth - Marys or Marthas?

Yesterday I took a few moments to be Mary instead of Martha. Yesterday I sat and listened as I learned of the stories of 3 important women in my family. Yesterday without intention I was educated in the ways of real love and real romance and what that even means. Yesterday I made some commitments to myself and to my future husband that he doesn’t even know about yet.

Gear Up.

I thought he said she wasn't cut out for this?

My Aunty has been married to my Uncle for 25 years and they have 6 children. Yesterday she unfolded to me the course of events that led up to that romantic proposal on horseback. She told me about the day my Uncle called her and broke her heart. He said he didn’t think it was going to work out because she wouldn’t be cut out for farm life (creep). Is that really the best he could come up with? She had waited for him on his mission for a year and a half! AND they had only met 3 times before that! My Aunty told me that she had then left her family, her job and everything she owned in America to come to New Zealand and “see what happened” (there wasn’t even a proposal at that stage!) That is some serious faith. My Aunty has been married to my Uncle for 25 years and they have 6 children. Her name is Esther and she knows what it means to have real love. Love that isn’t deterred by the vast separation of oceans or seas. Love that doesn’t shrink in the face of trial or hardship or less than convenient circumstances. Love that motivates you to be perfectly “cut out” for something.

My Aunty has been married to my Uncle for 30 years and they have 4 children. Yesterday I learnt of the course of events that led to her wedding to a farm boy she met while at a farming convention with my Grandparents. Sounds very country I know. Firstly my Uncle wasn’t even that interested in her, he was kind of “having an association” (Grandad’s words not mine) with another girl at the farming convention. Heaven must have smiled on him as he somehow got another chance to win my Aunty’s heart. He was “in the area” on farm business and decided to call into my Grandparent’s house.  They went behind the side of the house and kissed ;) But my Aunty made it very clear to him that she would be having a Temple marriage. What’s a Temple marriage? My Uncle was not a member at the time. He went away and took the missionary discussions, eventually he joined the church. She had that Temple marriage. She was not settling for anything less. The right person, at the right time, in the right place. My Aunty has been married to my Uncle for 30 years and they have 4 children. Her name is Elizabeth and she knows what it means to have real love. Love that will sacrifice for righteous desires. Love that is sanctioned by the Lord. Love that knows exactly what it stands for and what it is founded on.

My Grandmother was married to my Grandfather for almost 60 years and they have 6 children. Yesterday I learnt from my Grandfather exactly how he won her heart. He was a country boy with not very much to offer and she was a beautiful city glamour Queen with fancy hats and shades of lipstick. It would seem they were worlds apart.  They wrote to each other twice a week for 6 months! They didn’t have the convenience of skype, email or text. They didn’t even have a car then. Grandma told her family that she would “probably marry him” long before her and Grandad ever talked about it. When it’s right, it’s right. They may have been worlds apart in some things but not in the things that mattered. Their goals were set on real happiness. On raising a family in love and righteousness. Grandad said they had very little but there was no way that G’ma was going to work. They would make do, or do without. She was to be a mother. THE mother. They both faced forward to the future and prepared to press on side by side with the little they had. My Grandmother was married to my Grandfather almost 60 years and they have 6 children. Her name is Esther Mary and she knows what it means to have real love and real romance. Do you know they never had an argument – Grandad said it was because she was prepared to compromise. I think it was because she knew what mattered and what didn’t. She knew what it took to live happily ever after. And they did.

Birthday Tribute for THE Home Maker of the year– My mum’s better than your mum ;)

Every day after breakfast my mum looks over the red checkered table cloth at me and says “What shall we have for tea?” In my head I think “it’s only 9am?” She then wanders out to the storage SHED (yes, we don’t do food storage in small ways around here! Food is even stamped with purchase date!) and then she comes back in with an unidentifiable slab of meat frozen in an unidentifiable plastic bag. “Might be pork?” she says “Or, actually, it could be lamb?” I chuckle as she begins to run the hot water into the sink... “Let’s defrost it and find out”. Some of you may be sitting there thinking “hmm, typical country folk, very uncivilized”. Do not be mistaken. My Mother is no dummy. My Mum is a master chef by day. We create new food adventures daily! (Katrina, I thought of you! You would love my mum’s food adventures!) She comes in with that UFO meat and serves up a surprise master piece!  My mum is a calf Queen by day. She goes down to the cow shed to show the calves who’s boss… but they show HER who’s boss! They know she’s a push over and they love it! The touch of the master’s hand? Indeed.

Her pride and joy, named “Thor” awaits her arrival and bullies his way to his usual spot at the feeder.  My Mum is a gardener, slash, landscaper by day (this morning we wrestled a wheelbarrow of mountain high piled weeds out of Grandma’s beautiful front garden). My Mum is a baker’s delight by day. Mum and I found a new recipe for mint chocolate slice and squealed in delight at the thought of testing such decadence! Oh for me I meant eating – for Mum she meant cooking. My Mum is a shop til you drop by day. Sometimes she trades in the farm clothes for skinny jeans and today she had the shop assistant earning her hourly rate. Will that be in gold or silver? Don’t let the gumboots fool you.

All of this is done usually before 11am. By then, Mum has also hung the washing out to dry, (we believe in sunshine drying in New Zealand) helped me with the dishes, and popped a fresh batch of chocolate chunk (yes, not chip, but CHUNK) cookies into the oven.

WOW. I know! You can breathe out because it really is that amazing to watch. I am tired just thinking about it.

My mum is a one woman extravanganza. She is a Farm Diva and don’t you dare forget that.

SO you might be wondering then… if my mum is a farm extraordinaire by day, what is she by night?      By night she is exactly what she should be. By night she is – just my Mum. (Thanks for the clean pajamas Mum, and for filling my hot water bottle before bed - Love you.) 

Stew Surprise

Chicken Surprise

Meatball Surprise

Love at HOME - Late night Sunday thought

I am sitting in bed with my light switched off and my torch switched on– it gives a whole new meaning to “stealth mode.” Being an undercover journalist is obviously my calling in life. Not. But tonight, the dark feels soothing to my soul and a comfort to my wearied self. The words somehow feel like they might flow more freely this way. The light stays off.

It is 10pm and I now leave this day, completely full. Firstly, I have eaten so many coconut buns I am not really sure how to help myself. Secondly, I have been truly fed spiritually today. There is so much to digest I am not really sure how to begin. Finally, my heart has reached its maximum gratitude capacity; each vessel screams out because there is no more room. I leave this day full.

I carried a prayer with me today. Wherever I went – there it was. I wanted so desperately to know how to love Grandad. The kind he needed. And so I asked : What does he need? What can I give?

All day I felt that a little messenger followed me around delivering secrets into my ear.  “Play your hymns in the kitchen where he is” … “Go to church early with him when he leaves” … “Speak about the Temple” … “Ask him if he’s hungry – what about that quiche?” … “Go and rub his feet”… and all day I marveled at my Grandfathers reactions. All day I wondered how much of it was her, watching over me, as I watched over him.

That led me to think about how much of it is Him. The one that offers love, help, healing, hope. Every time, in every way. He offers something where there is nothing. He is the one.

HOME is where the HEART is ...

I thought a lot about eternity today as I sat on a wooden bench next to my grandmother’s grave. I had every intention of walking to my aunty’s house, but my feet stopped at the bottom of the hill. Sometimes there is no telling your feet what to do. You know what controls your feet don’t you? Your brain. And you know what controls your brain don’t you? Your heart. My heart has drawn me to Grandma’s grave the last 2 days. I don’t think it is because she wishes to speak to me, but rather because she knows I wish to speak to her. What is the meaning of eternity? I think it holds a meaning for each of us; no thought more right than another. Maybe the meaning changes depending on what stage of our lives we are in. Maybe it changes depending on what day it is. Today, for me, it means - hope.

Over the last few days I have watched my grandfather exist. The man who rises at 6am every single day of his life. He works on the farm before breakfast at 8.30am. He works on the farm before lunch at 1.30pm. He works on the farm before dinner at 7.30pm and then snoozes in his comfy blue arm chair with a vacant spot next to him. It looks like he is saving someone’s place. To some that may sound like a regimented existence; to Grandad, it was his life and livelihood and existence with the person he loved. Take one thing away from that equation and it does just become an existence. Her. She is the missing piece. The heaviest part of my heart today, beats from not knowing what I can do – and so I tell her. I pray to help him find peace. Peace in the deepest part of his heart that cannot be healed by a hug or a kind word from me. And today at her side I felt not peace, but hope. Hope in eternity. The beautiful thing about the Gospel of Jesus Christ is that it offers hope for families. Hope in today, hope in tomorrow, hope in eternity. They will be together again.

HOME BASE - Show me your guns

We all dressed for the occassion... black ninja attire required.

Nicole, Judy and I gathered in for a team talk at Nicole's request. Let's talk strategy.

"Every man for himself" I said.

There was a serious gun show that went down tonight.
By the third round I was on the winning team - I make no apologies.

family HOME evening - What does contention look like?

Contention. What to say? There is not much you can add to that word to make it better.

Tonight in Family Home Evening we spoke about contention and I learnt something very valuable from Joshy....Often the people we love the most "get it" the worst. We are the ones that feel awful in the end if we cause contention, even if we are "right".

This just goes to show that the people that don't say much often have the best advice to share. So maybe the rest of us should pipe down a bit and listen to the experts disguised as wall flowers.

You never cease to amaze me Joshy.

HOME STOMPING GROUND - Not from the front!

Mathew Tanner  - todays outing was dedicated to you. Nicole was the instigator of the hulahooping tribute... she suggested we take photos of our antics wherever we were... you're the inaugural hulahooper so these are for you. Not from the front! Not from the back! Only from the side!

first stop : Our old stomping ground St Lukes Mall - rush hour foot traffic, we stop outside Farmers (kind of like a Kohls) and pose for the moment... oblivious to our surroundings ...

Once the hula starts... you can't stop.

The most beautiful thing about being with the people you love is that it doens't really matter what you do. Any thing that happens seems like the happiest experience, everything you do feels like the best day you'ver ever had, all the things you say feel like the funniest thing you have ever heard.

Laughter is the product of days spent with people you love. These are the people I love.

Meet them: Joshy, Lenny, Judy, Nicole.

 

Sweetheart- I can't wait for you to love the people I love. They are an extension of the best part of me.

HOME GROWN - Will that be 1 scoop or 5?

You cannot travel to and from the New Zealand Temple without stopping for an icecream at Pokeno. That is illegal. This place is WORLD FAMOUS IN NEW ZEALAND.

Those of my American friends that have spent the last year hearing about why the dairy in America pales sadly in comparison to the dairy in New Zealand "It's about the grass, the cows and the milk". In America the cows are grain fed which affects the milk quality. However, in New Zealand, we believe in letting them run free- they eat grass. Grass is clearly the way to go.

If you are close to me you know about my relationship with icecream. We go way back. Icecream and I are stuck on each other like icing on cake. We are inseperable in times of need. My favorite here is Marshmallow Coconut Ice (you know how i feel about coconut).

I toned it down this time :

First Icecream: 3 scoops- chocolate chip cookie dough, mint cookie smash, marshmallow coconut ice

Second Icecream: 2 scoops- lemon cheesecake, marshmallow coconut ice

To my dear friend Neal Hulahooper- I couldnt miss the opportunity to photograph the Pineapple Icecream. I thought of you immediately. Life is good.

I stand by what I said. Sometimes talk is cheap, and so for the skeptics out there.... here is the evidence.

Enough said.

HOME AWAY FROM HOME - No place like His Home

Have you ever thought about the Temple being a home away from home?

I know it’s the House of the Lord, but if it’s our refuge from the storm, it’s our home away from home no matter where we are. I have a commitment to Him. We have a date each week that cannot be rescheduled.  I am on my way to that date now.

I sit on the bus and open my laptop. Everything here feels conducive to my writing. Everything here feels like it is part of a story.  I am on my way down to Auckland and then down to Hamilton. I sit next to a boy that offers me lollies (he obviously boycotts the “don’t talk to strangers” rule too). The rolling green of hilly landscape passes my window. “For the beauty of the earth” comes to mind.  I am thinking about all the things I have to be grateful for. There’s a lot. I am thinking about how I finally have some of what everyone wants more of- Time. I am thinking about how I am being re-introduced to the power of being still. I needed that (something else to thank my G’ma for).  It is not some hippy concept that might be nice to try “if you’re into that kind of thing”. It is a necessary ingredient to allow gratitude to fill our hearts for the one who has given us everything. With still comes reflection. With reflection comes direction. With direction comes change.  

Be still and know that He is God.

Today I got to be at the Temple with some of my favorite people- Nicole and Judy and the kids. Today I got to be in the Temple for the first time with my best friend. Lenny F, I love you. As we sat next to each other there was no need for thoughtless chatter, no need for commentating and no glances exchanged. With our eyes forward holding hands, we were focused.  Focused on what? Focused on being educated for eternal life.  

There was a still existence that filled us both as we sat in the house of the Lord. That moment represented so much for us, we had waited so long to be there together. That moment represented the roads we had both walked. The roads that had eventually led us back to Him. With our love for each other unspoken but felt, and our love for the Lord unspoken but felt- we were one in His house.

ESCAPE FROM HOME – Has anyone seen this calf?

When the phone rings and Uncle Adrian says “Tell Margaret (my mum) that the pet calves got scared from the fireworks and ran off down to Jared’s place” you kind of blink into the phone and wonder what exactly it is he expects YOU to do about it?

I tell mum who then starts to put on her jacket. The hour is late, and the air has begun to sting your skin on contact.

Me: Cough -Um, mum, do you need some help?

Mum: Oh, only if you want to?

Who doesn’t want an escape from Alcatraz calf adventure late at night right?

When we finally get to where the calves have escaped to, which by the way, is WAY down the road (after they maneuvered themselves somehow over the cattle stop!) Mum jumps off the 4 wheeler, mid-air in chase, and tells me to “kick it into gear and reverse”…

Sure Mum, I’ll just “kick it into gear and reverse”.  I have no idea how to drive a 4 wheeler. When the pressure mounts and the calf convicts are trying to escape- turns out you learn how to drive a 4 wheeler real quick.

HOMEWARD BOUND - Forget You Not Grandma

With tears in our eyes we reverently honored my Grandmother today. I am sure she looked down on us from her new home. I hope she liked what she saw. She has bought our family back together again- in more ways than one. Forget You Not Grandma. Those little blue flowers litter my thoughts of your life.

My Grandmother was a woman you could almost miss, for she only reached somewhere in the neighborhood of my arm. I could fold in half to reach down to squish her with a hug. You could not miss her Spirit though. My Grandma was as tall and as solid as an Oak tree. I towered over her in physical stature but she had a stature that towered over me. I used to look down and wonder how a person so small and cute could be so mighty. She was more than just faithful. She was more than just steadfast and immovable. She was Super Woman and super glue. She was heart and soul committed to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

She was my Grandmother.

HOME COOKING - Lamb Curry or Beef Stew?

It turns out I’m not cut out for farm life. Who would have thought?

We never got the dress code memo and so when the lamb squirted it’s “ness” all over my favorite comfy sweatshirt dress and Genevieve’s leg, foot and basically entire lower body (talk about biting the hand that feeds you) we were shocked and then disgusted and then in guffawing fits of hysteria.

Farm life is never dull.

“DOT!!!” “GET A WAY BACK” mum screams at the dog as it hurtles around the paddock nipping at the heels of the darting calves. “GET A WAY BACK” she screams. The dog continues the maniac circling. My eyebrows are raised with alerted anxiety, and my gumboots stay cemented in the muddy squalor- I am frozen in terror….  If that dog doesn’t “GET A WAY BACK” Mum might not let it come anywhere back… ever.

I’m standing there thinking “What on earth is she telling it to do?”

“Get A Way Back”

Translation: Run to the far paddock and round up the calves that have taken off and herd them back.

????? There is logic in farm lingo…. But no one knows what it is yet.

COMING HOME - The prodigal child returns

When your mum calls and says that your grandmother has passed away; there is no way to be prepared for that. There is no handbook on what to do. There is one thought and one thought only- I need to go home.

I got on a plane and had 15 hours to think about what the next month or so has in store for me. I left behind a job that I believe in and people that I believe in. People I love. Especially person that I love. My Clark. But Lois was not looking back. No, I'm no Lots wife. Leaving you Clark, standing in the airport as the escalator rose, us waving frantically to each other and both chanting, full actions included "Our team is what? Dynamite! Our team is what? Dynamite! Our team is tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick BOOM Dynamite!" I loved you in that moment. That moment was an "US" moment. That moment was a "thank you for not making this harder than it has to be" kind of moment.

This unexpected trip was more than a heavenly answering of knelt down homesick pleading (although my heart rejoiced in grattitude to Him that we are continually indebted to). It was going to be more than a 2 year awaited reunion with both my beautiful sisters and my Mum. Although the reason I was going, I knew it was going to be much more than the honoring and burying of my beautiful cherub (I always called Gma that). There was a calming of my Spirit as I wandered through San Francisco airport slowly sipping my gingerbread hot chocolate staining it with my red lipstick.  The lipstick always helped me to be brave. I knew this was going to be a journey and She had begun it. My grandmother, the only person I have ever seen Love her sweetheart with the kind of love I want.

She was bringing me home.